Bdsm kink checklist fill out pdf tv#

Example sex menuīelow is a screenshot of a sex menu I completed in March 2020 in Google Sheets. Review your sex menu a couple of times a year to track how your preferences change, and also to find more things you might like to try with a partner. I’ve been with partners who had a low score for butt plugs, but six months later absolutely loved them. Incorporate some of these activities when you next play. If you are not open to trying it, you may find an alternative way to elicit the same feelings for her using another method.Īs you go, make a list of 5 things which you both want to try in the next 30 days. You may like very different things – that’s okay.īe curious as to what it is about that act which she enjoys. Approach the discussion with a sense of curiosity. not in bed).įoster a sense of openness by agreeing to answer honestly, and not to judge each other’s scores.

Bdsm kink checklist fill out pdf tv#

Make sure you are free from distractions (kids, phones, TV in the background), and in a neutral setting (i.e. Once you’ve filled in your menu, schedule a time when both of you can sit together to discuss. After all, we are talking sex here which should be one of the most fun things you can do! Score it fairly, according to your preferences. You may be tempted to score a sex act highly because you know he loves them even if you don’t. Normally I am all for empathy and thinking about other people.

Don’t put yourself in your partner’s shoes.

And if they do, maybe it’s worth considering if their values match yours. There’s no point in filling in your sex menu if you aren’t going to be truthful. Here are some tips to keep in mind as you go: Without the pressure of them looking over your shoulder you are going to be more honest. I recommend completing your menu in private, without your partner present. As long as your scoring system promotes that, you’re golden. A sex menu is meant to be a framework for discussion.

It’s simple, clear, and broad enough to spark discussion.įeel free to make your own scale up too, if these don’t suit you. For example, what’s the difference between ‘I want this’ and ‘let’s try it’. It’s a good scale, but there is some overlap. Scale from 0 to 6: 0 = hard limit, 1 = soft limit, 2= if I must, 3 = let’s try it, 4 = yes please, 5 = I want this, 6 = Fetish need.Mark anything you love as Green, anything you want to try but haven’t as Amber, and anything you definitely don’t want to try as Red. I’ve seen a number of different scoring systems you can use, depending upon your preference: The bottom of the sex menu leaves space to list out medical conditions, hard limits, and things not on the menu you’d be interested in trying, and any other comments. And a third column is for you to add notes to explain the reason behind your score. The second column contains a score, indicating how much you want to try the activity. Instead have a google and find a template someone has already created.Īs mentioned, I highly recommend finding one in an easy to share format such as Google Sheets.Įssentially the first column contains all the sex acts, grouped by category. I don’t recommend creating one from scratch. Write down anything your partner needs to know to ensure your play remains safe at all times. No-one wants to witness an allergic reaction when you whip out the peanut butter and spread it over her body. This includes sexually transmitted infections.

Some sex menus have space to alert your partner to any medical conditions or allergies you may have. (You still need to triple check with them when you do eventually do get round to it though, as they may have changed their mind.)Ī sex menu makes it far easier to ensure you are engaging in BDSM activities in a safe, sane and consensual manner.

And if you discuss their score and decide to try it when next visit the bedroom, that’s further consent. If someone marks a sexual activity as something there ‘really want to do’, then that is partial consent. Because sexual activities between a dom and a sub are typically more extreme than those of traditional relationships, it becomes even more important to ensure consent has been given by both parties.ĭiscussing and completing a sex menu is a form of consent. Give and get consentĪ guiding philosophy of BDSM is SSC – Safe, Sane and Consensual. With the list in front of you, you’ll be able to further your knowledge of BDSM, looking up anything you’ve not come across (no pun intended), and thinking whether it’s something you’d like to try.Įven if you aren’t into BDSM, I’d highly recommend incorporating a sex menu into your sex life.